How To Get Your Ex Back

Welcome to the blog for www.AdviceDiva.com This is the premiere site for love advice, relationship advice, dating advice and even sex advice. Learn how to get your ex back and find out what women really want. Click one of the books to learn more or read through my emails and responses. I can help you with your boyfriends, girlfriends, your wife or your husband. Visit my website and email the Diva!

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Love eCards

Hey everyone, check it out!!!!! I FINALLY just created a series of brand new LOVE ecards on my website. Now, I am not that good with code and php and I worked for a solid month trying to get this up and running but I finally did it and it actually works! Anyways...they are free so go check them out. There is no sign up either, just pick a card and send it. (I hate it when you have to sign up!)

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Love Dreams

Everyone has dreams, even the people who say they never remember their dreams. Dreams are conjured throughout the sleep cycle however there is a certain amount of memory erasure which occurs as the sleep cycle occurs which is why it is hard to remember dreams in general. Your strongest and most vivid dreams occur in the Rapid Eye Movement (REM) cycle which occurs near the end of your sleep cycle, and these are the dreams you are apt to remember. When the alarm goes off or you wake up in the middle of your REM without the normal transition from REM to the final Delta cycle and then to natural waking, you are bound to have some recall of the dreams you were just experiencing.

Dreams are usually a reflection of your emotions and the result of the feelings you were experiencing the day before. Most dreams make absolutely no sense, but if you try to gather some of the basic feelings within those dreams, you might be able to understand them better. Dreams of love, sex or anger within a relationship can help you to understand what is going on in your life. Conversely, if you already have acknowledged your feelings in your daily ongoings, then you will understand why you dream what you dream. Some doctors also believe that your dreams are a way of expressing emotion which you may have bottled up if you tend to not express the way they feel to others easily. With this in mind, dreams can be a natural outlet for your emotional needs.

To dream of love or of being in love suggests that you are very happy in your current relationship. Your life is a bed of roses and you couldn't be happier, you are even gushing in your dreams. However, it could also mean that you are not getting enough of that loving attention you so desire. You crave that love so much, and think of it so often, that it is only natural for you to dream about it. You might also dream about your lover or spouse. Usually this indicates a good amount of self worth and acknowledgment of your union together and your mutual dependency. Dreaming about your ex-lover is common and very often occurs at the onset of a new relationship. It simply brings to the surface any apprehension and hurt stemming from that old relationship which you fear may occur again. Another common dream is the one about your crush. You might be dreaming that this particular person is desperately in love with you. Naturally, this is because you have a one track mind and your constant preoccupation with your beloved has leaked into your dreams. However, if you dream that this person hates you or is angry with you, this just shows you how much you fear being hurt. This dream also reveals your insecurities.

Affection in dreams is common. Just as with love, if you are dreaming about giving or receiving affection, you might be simply expressing your contentment in your waking life. If you are in a very happy relationship, dreams of affection can fill your night. Conversely, you might not be getting enough affection and your constant cravings have begun infiltrating your dreams. To dream of hugging someone truly represents your caring nature, the way you take care of and hold someone. Kissing is usually a good dream and again signifies your emotional happiness. But have you ever had that annoying dream when the dream ends right before you kiss someone? This dream usually means that you are unsure of the relationship, its direction and/or its stability. If you have dreamed about kissing your friend's lover, don't worry. This does not mean you have deep and unseen feelings for this person, it merely represents your desire to be in a relationship. Touching someone in your dream can mean that you are trying to communicate with that person or it could represent your deep emotional bonds with that person.

Most people have had some pretty bizarre sexual dreams but most of them are also common. For instance, did you know that an expectant father often dreams of homosexual encounters? That is what the experts say. To dream that you are a homosexual when you are not actually denotes your love for yourself and your acceptance of all parts of your life. A very common dream for people is the dream of making love outdoors and in public. This dream speaks about some sexual issue in your life which needs to be addressed. You might be feeling shame or comfortableness in that area. Oral sex can be a fun dream. Whether you are giving or receiving, this dream simply signifies that you enjoy the giving or receiving. Regular sexual dreams are often a way for your body to tell you that you are not getting enough of that loving feeling, but you probably knew that already. To dream about sex with someone other than your significant other might mean there is some dissatisfaction with your sex life, but usually it is just a harmless and common fantasy so don't worry. Having sex with your ex in a dream is also common, especially before taking a big new step in a relationship. This dream represents your feelings of anxiety in the new relationship and maybe even a little fear of experiencing the same emotional pain that an ex caused you.

We all go through tough times especially in relationships. When you are having relationship and emotional problems you can expect some pretty intense dreams. And they all are a way to breathe emotionally and express some feelings that you have trouble voicing. Common dreams during such times are dreams of separation which suggest a fear of separation, dreams of quarreling which suggest difficult issues that you are unable to get your mate to understand, dreams of severe fighting which represent deep emotional turmoil, and dreams of divorce which symbolize the fear of your relationship breaking apart. Crying in your dreams may also be frequent. To cry in your dreams and have no one hear you cry is a dream which shows how helpless you feel. Very often, you might even wake yourself up crying because the emotions are so strong.

Most people only remember bits and pieces of their dreams but these small fragments offer a glimpse into our emotional lives. Try keeping a small pad and pen by your bed and start writing about your dream as soon as you wake up if you can. You can try to understand the dreams yourself by trying to relate to the mood and emotions you were experiencing in the dream or you can read up on that dream using dream dictionaries online and in books. Dream interpretation is a clever tool for emotional and relationship self help.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Stop Posting Spam Here

Do you think that title will work? Okay, someone had the bright idea of inventing some software that will leave auto generated messages on random blogs. How rediculous is that? This is so rediculous because it will eventually lead to people closing the doors for people to leave responses. Just check out the post from about two postings ago and read the spam comments! This is crazy! I am still going to leave the comments section open just so you can all see the spam pile up.

How To Break Up

Dear Diva Rebecca,

When it comes to dating, I'm a bit of a late bloomer, as I did not have a serious girlfriend until I was 19. So it logically follows that I'm also a bit inexperienced when it comes to breaking up with women. I've broken up with two girlfriends, and I tried to be gentle and diplomatic each time, but things did not go as smoothly as I would have liked. I considered both girls to be level headed, mature women, and not emotionally unbalanced in any way. My first girlfriend became very tearful and depressed, and said she felt like a huge loser. I of course consoled her, but I still felt badly that she took it that way. The second breakup was more of a shocker. We were at a coffee shop that we used to hang out at a lot. For most of the conversation, she seemed very much in agreement with what I had to say. Then, when I led up to the part that it was probably best we go our separate ways, her demeanor changed completely. She seemed very much insulted, and told me that she wished me the best of luck in finding someone who was more suitable. Then she slapped my face and walked out. Everyone looked over, and it was embarrassing to say the least. Are these the standard types of reactions that I can expect, or does it appear that I'm doing something terribly wrong?

Sincerely,
Heartbreaker
Gambier, Ohio


Dear Heartbreaker,

I would have to say that you are not doing anything wrong. Wrong would be leaving her a message on her voicemail and then never speaking her again. Wrong would be sending a “breakup” email and let her read it while she is at working leading to a terribly emotional day at the office. Wrong would be doing it over the phone instead of in person. The style and manner in which you dealt your final blow was perfect. You sat down with both of them, explained your feelings and then calmly stated your resolution. No, you did not do anything wrong but yes, this is a standard type of reaction you can expect. Every woman is different and it all depends on how they handle rejection.

The only problem you have is your inability to sympathize with their feelings. You must try to be a little more empathetic, that is...try and understand what rejection feels like without having dealt with it yourself. However, this will be a little difficult to do until you actually understand how it feels to be dumped when you get dumped yourself. Right now I bet hundreds of men and women are reading this email and secretly hope that you get dumped soon only because most have all been on the other side of the fence...and they all hold contempt for that person who rejected them.

As you have said, you are inexperienced in these matters. Trust me the day will come when you begin to fall for a wonderful woman, and then she will cut you loose when you least expect it. It happens to everyone my dear. Then you will be able able to look back on these women and understand why they acted so strange. Even if it seemed like you both felt the same way and it didn't seem to be working out, the one who gets the boot is the one who gets hurt. They also say that the one who breaks up first....wins.

For most people, dealing with rejection is very difficult. It is a major blow to the ego and to protect that ego, people have different ways of dealing with it. A lot of people lash out. The anger gives them a physical way to defend their ego and the attack feels good and and gratifying. Some people cry and become depressed right away which can get worse over time. They are actively searching for someone (namely the person who rejected them) to comfort them and make them feel better. When this does not happen, the depression becomes worse. Most people experience a combination of many different ways to handle rejection. It is like a roller coaster of emotions and there are many steps that someone goes through very much akin to the steps of grief. Also, some people say that men and women handle rejection differently. I disagree because it makes that statement is misleading. It depends solely on the person.

So don't worry my little heartbreaking stud. Have no doubt in your mind that you did everything properly. Also please realize that you probably have not experienced your worst break up yet. Just wait until you break up with that little psychotic bitch disguised as a sweet young girl. Expect everything from being stalked, having your email broken into, having your tires slashed, finding terrible rumors flying all about you and your impotency problem and having every new girlfriend afterwards terrorized. Just a friendly warning.

Sincerely,
Diva Rebecca

Monday, October 17, 2005

Men in Abusive Relationships

Dear Diva Rebecca,

I have a friend that is involved in a verbal and physically abusive relationship. He wants to get out and then file for divorce but financially he is unable to. Is there programs out there that can help him like there is for women. He says he might be able to move out by the end of this year but I am afraid that she will turn violent and start throwing more things at him such as a wine bottle she threw at his head which thankfully missed. Please let me know what can be done for him. Thank you for your help on this matter.

Sincerely,
Worried Friend

Dear Troubled Friend,

What a great question. I think this is the first time I have received an email regarding a man in an abusive relationship. And it is interesting that you, his female friend, is the person who has emailed me with the request. Most men in his position have a hard time verbalizing that they are being abused. It might make a man feel weak or belittled to admit that his woman is abusing him physically and/or verbally. And this presents an even bigger problem because it will prevent this man from seeking help because he is too embarrassed to talk about it.

The whole stigma of a man in an abusive relationship is a shame. People tend to assume that just because women are generally smaller and weaker than a man that she would be unable to inflict pain or cause harm to a man, and that any man should easily be able to defend himself against his wife or girlfriend. However, here lies one of the major problems. If a woman is being physically abusive, there is not much the man can do besides leave. He can not defend himself with force. If he defends himself by hitting back, he immediately puts himself in the guilty position. Everyone would assume that he is the aggressor. How dare he hit a woman, someone who was smaller (even if she was wielding a butcher's knife). Next, even if the only thing a man could do was to defend himself by using his own physical strength, not many men would be willing to do so. Most men would never be able to bring themselves to harm a woman, even if she is a psychotic bitch with fireballs shooting out of her eyes. And if the police showed up to quell a domestic problem, even if the entire time she was the aggressor, you know who is going to jail, right? She might be off to jail as well, but if the man does something as simple as trying to restrain his girl who is physically abusing him, the act of holding her down will instantly send him to jail. It is a sad truth that many men deal with on a daily basis.

What your friend needs to do is leave and leave immediately. He should do so when his wife is not in the house. During a physically abusive relationship, violence is always escalated when the abused party is trying to leave. This is because "leaving" will break that little idea of "control" which the abuser thinks she has on the situation. The minute she knows he is trying to leave is the very same minute she will blow. And this is when he does not want to be in the house. In most instances when a woman is killed by her abusive male partner, it is when she is trying to leave. I would imagine the same goes for men in abusive relationship, however, this information should be used to demonstrate how critical it is that your friend leaves when his wife is not around.

The next thing he needs to do is document every single instance of abuse. Every time he speaks with his wife he should tape record it, file police reports if he needs to about specific abusive acts, ask friends to be witnesses if they have ever seen an instance of abuse and he should hire a lawyer. He also needs to file a restraining order citing abuse. He needs to be the first one to do this. If he files for this restraining order right away, it will put the law on his side very quickly.
Unfortunately, there are very few resources available for men in abusive relationships. One of the best ones on the net is http://www.safe4all.org/ This is a free organization where he can find help for men, from men, about being in an abusive relationship. I wish him the very best of luck.

Sincerely,
Diva Rebecca

Stop Nagging!

One of the predominant reasons for the demise of a relationship is nagging. We all know what “nagging” is and we have all been either the nagger or the recipient of hard core nagging at one time or another. Usually thought of as a feminine trait that only women are supposed to do, men also have the ability to badger beyond belief. Most people who nag their partners don't even realize they are doing it. The only thing which incessant nagging will do is push that special person away. This is always the exact opposite of its intent.

The prevailing reason why most people harass their lovers is because they don't feel like they are getting the response or attention they should be getting. Someone might nag about household chores, getting a new job, quitting smoking, not staying out late, financial issues and more. But saying the same thing over and over and over again is nagging. Even if you find new ways to state your demands, you are still saying the same thing and the object of your affections is still being and feeling nagged. The nagger wants a certain response and usually feels as if the other person is just not listening, so the nagger NAGS some more. Meanwhile, the person getting the heaping piles of orders, demands and nagging comments is getting pushed away. He or she will just end up walking away, ignoring the nagger even more and causing a great big fat circle that will not end until he or she ends the relationship.

I knew this one girl a few years ago who I befriended because we ended up being in the same circle of friends. She was a fun girl, a likable character and absolutely gorgeous But she always had a tough time keeping a guy. Here is a great example of “why”. She was dating this man for a while. He was quite a catch and considered one of the most eligible bachelors in Houston. He was charming, handsome, well established, cultured and financially well endowed. This girl, whom I shall call Kiki, was about to turn thirty. For her birthday Kiki's paramour told her that he was taking Kiki to a mutual friend's house for dinner and drinks. Unbeknownst to her, he had invited about 100 people for a surprise party and he was carrying a diamond ring in his pocket to “Pop the Big One” that very evening. During the car ride over to her secret surprise party Kiki let loose on her boyfriend. She told him over and over that she could not believe all he was doing for her 30th birthday was taking her to dinner with friends. She nagged him terribly, even yelled at him, during the 40 minute ride. Needless to say, she apologized when she discovered all of her closest friends and family waiting for her. A surprise which he so thoughtfully arranged. Kiki never saw a diamond ring that night. He never even told Kiki about the ring. The next day he returned the ring and broke it off with Kiki. To this day she has no idea that he was about to propose and that he broke it off with her because of her childish nagging. I still don't have the heart to tell her.

Although I do adore this woman with all my heart, I will say he did the right thing. I think most people out there would not dare to be so rude and act disappointed with your lover's gift making him or her feel badly. This was an extreme case of aggressive nagging. It was done only to make him feel bad because she felt neglected. There are a lot of men and women who act like this. If you nag and treat your new romance in this manner, it won't last. Nagging will never get you what you want. I will say it again: nagging only pushes people away.

If you feel like you might be nagging your lover to death you might want to think about why you are doing this. You might even want to seek counseling. If you love your significant other and you want to keep your relationship intact, you must realize the negative impact that nagging will create. The unnecessary stress will eventually push your mate towards breaking up, divorce or straight into someone else's arms. If you feel that you are not getting the consideration or feedback you desire, you can get that attention back when you stop the pestering. You will stop pushing that person away and he or she might actually start to give you the response you wanted all on his or her own.

If you are the person being nagged you might feel like there is nothing you can do. I don't want to tell you to bite your tongue, that will only cause anger to rage inside of you. If you get nagged enough without saying a word, you could eventually blow up. Instead of saying nothing, remember why this person is nagging you: he or she is not getting the response from you which is needed to quell the nagging. If you want it to stop, think of a way that will appease this person. If he or she is nagging you, tell your lover that he or she is right and you will do “something” to resolve the situation. This will quickly put a lid on the nagging, for the moment anyways. And only try to calm these situations if this is a relationship you are willing to keep and work for. If the nagging turns to verbal and/or emotional abuse, it may be high time to start walking.

Love Spells

Check out these love spells!! There are hundreds of love spells here for committment, to return a lost lover, to get him or her back, to increase him or her love for you and so much more! I think this is the greatest love spell site there is..... check it out at Red Magick Love Spells! You will adore this site.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

How to win him back

How to win him back: Did you lose your boyfriend? Learn how to get him back at www.advicediva.com and let the Diva show you how to do it successfully.

I want my boyfriend back

I want my boyfriend back: Did you and your boyfriend break up? Learn how to get that special man back into your life with tips and advice from www.advicediva.com Learn from the Diva!

Get Back Together

Get back together: If you are looking to getting back together with your ex, let the Diva show you how to win that ex back at www.advicediva.com! Let the Diva teach you!

How To Get Back Together

How to get back together? Are you looking to get back together with your sweetie? Learn how to get your ex back at www.advicediva.com Let the Diva show you how!

How To Get My Girlfriend Back

Want your girlfriend back? Let the Diva show you how at www.advicediva.com!
Learn how to turn that breakup around.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Mirror Under The Bed

Dear Diva Rebecca,


My friend recently came to visit me in New York and he noticed all of the clutter underneath my bed. You need every inch of space you can find in a small New York City apartment. He told me that I need to clear everything out from underneath my bed and place a good sized mirror face up under the bed. He said this this will reflect my good feelings and well being back onto me while I sleep, and it may help in my love life. Is there any truth to this?


Sincerely,


Superstitious, New York City, New York


Dear Superstitious,


Scientific truth? No. There is no evidence that can be scientifically gathered to support such a statement.


What your friend has told you is a variation of a Feng Shui belief. Feng Shui is an ancient Chinese belief system that uses certain objects and strategic placement to enhance the quality of the believer's life. Feng Shui has recently made quite a come back in the Western world. There are plenty of people who swear by its powers.


I have not heard of using a mirror to reflect good feelings back onto you while you sleep. I have heard that people will place a mirror face up underneath their bed to help battle insomnia. The reasoning is that the mirror will draw the bed down towards the mirror and allow the insomniac to be pulled into sleep. Another variation of the mirror under the bed is to place it face down to protect against evil spirits while you sleep.


A major point in Feng Shui is to clear out the clutter in your life by clearing our the clutter in your house. That is what may have prompted your friend to tell you to clear out the mess under your bed. In Feng Shui, the extra clutter underneath your bed could have a negative impact on your life. For example, if you clean it out it will allow you to have more room in your life...perhaps enough room for a certain new love interest.


In the end I think that the power of belief can have the best results. Feng Shui is a belief system, just like superstition, like religion and so on. But if you do something like place a mirror under your bed and believe it will make your love life sizzle, then you will wake up feeling a little sassier than usual. If you think it is going to happen, you can make it happen. Mind over matter.


Sincerely,


Diva Rebecca

Sunday, April 03, 2005

He Won't Let Me Call

Dear Diva Rebecca,

I have been dating this guy for about 3 months. In the beginning, he allowed me to call him everyday, but then he started putting restrictions on when I could call such as do not call him after 8:30 he is sleeping, do not call during favorite tv show, do not call when I have company, and do not call at any point during the hours 7 to 5 he is working. I was okay with these restrictions because I thought they were reasonable. We continued to have dates twice a week and have sex more than that. Things were fine for a while until the other Sunday. I had called him that morning, and he told me he was not feeling good and would call me later. By 7:45 that evening, he still had not called, so I made the mistake in calling him. His housekeeper/nanny for his child answers the phone, and she told me that she would tell him that I called. I did not know she would go and wake him up to tell him this. When Monday evening rolled around, I still had not heard from him. I knew he had to go to court again today (custody issues), so I called him. The witch answers the phone again, says he is out. After he did not return my calls and did not meet me for the usual lunch date, I began to suspect something was wrong. Especially after I tried to call him to find out why he bailed out on me and that woman answers the phone only to tell me not to call back. I began to wonder what had happened. He calls me the next morning, only to say that he was furious at me and did not want to speak to me because I called him when he said that he would call me; I was so much in shock all I could do was hang up the phone. However, later I was so angry with myself for not expressing my own feelings to him that I wrote him a letter telling him exactly how I felt: hurt, confused, and angry. For two days afterwards, we did not speak to each other, and we avoided each other. That is until one afternoon I broke down and called him. He was still angry at me but was willing to talk. He said that my calling him everyday was getting to him and he wanted some space. I was told the his restrictions were so that he could have that breathing room; however, it still was not enough. He told me that I was obsessive in calling him once a day, and he asked me to stop it. He said that if I wanted to go and find someone else how would tolerate this, I was welcome to; however, he did not want me to but would not hold me back. After assuring me that while he was angry, he still liked me, he ended the call by saying that he would call me when he was ready to pick things back up.

Sincerely,

Phone Tag,

Dear Phone Tag,

This email made me so angry. I seriously wanted to jump through my computer via some space-time continuum portal and arrive at your manjerk's computer only to dive on top of him and squeeze his head to death with my super strong thighs. Of course I would be wearing a Xena outfit as well. The mental images I was creating, of his demise, were truly gratifying. I can almost picture him too. Is this guy a man who always wears the same suits, perfectly pressed, never has a wrinkle in his shirts and never has one hair out of place? This guy probably needs an enema, he is way too frigid and uptight in my mind. Okay, Okay, I'll stop bashing on him.

I must turn my anger and wrath and bash on you a little bit. Don't worry, it won't hurt much. When he first started putting restrictions on when you could call, this should have been a red flag to you. At first he was "allowing" you to call whenever you wanted (please note the use of your word "allowed") and then he began telling you when not to call. This is simply outrageous. If you have a relationship with some guy, you should be free to call whenever you want. In a happy relationship, your man would be overjoyed to hear from you at any time. Now if you had been calling 18 times a day and leaving several messages on his machine, that would be excessive. But you were not doing that. This guy just started to limit your phone calls because he is an asshole. Either 1) He is in a serious relationship and he does not want to get caught or 2) He is just keeping you around for sex. Either way, this man does not want a serious relationship with you. He is only using you. How can you not see this?

And then he tries to make you feel bad and tells you that you may start dating other people and see if they would like your calling habits. Hunny, he is manipulating you. Of course another guy would love to have you call. Another guy who is into you, that is. This man is trying to make you think that you are wrong and that what you are doing is wrong. You are only acting like a completely normal person in a warped relationship. He is the one who is not normal. Please don't believe a word he says.

Now, I want you to do me a favor. Send this email to the spaz for me, with all my love of course, and let him know that you have been awakened by the Diva. Let him know that you will never see him again, and then never speak to him again. Even if he send you an email in retaliation, do not answer. You deserve much better than this. Start dating other men and forget about this waste of life.

Sincerely,

Diva Rebecca